Healthy Relationship Tips
How to Make a Relationship Work
Whether you’re looking to keep a new romantic relationship strong or repair a relationship that’s on the rocks, these tips can help you feel loved and connected to your partner.

By Lawrence Robinson, Melinda Smith, M.A. and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.
What is a healthy relationship?
Every romantic relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. Part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go. And that’s something you’ll only know by talking deeply and honestly with your partner.
However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common. Knowing these basic principles can help keep your relationship meaningful, fulfilling, and exciting whatever goals you’re working towards or challenges you’re facing together.
You maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other. You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. There’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved. When you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without the partners truly relating to each other emotionally. While the union may seem stable on the surface, a lack of ongoing involvement and emotional connection serves only to add distance between two people.
You’re not afraid of (respectful) disagreement. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to feel safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.
You keep outside relationships and interests alive. Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all of your needs. In fact, expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on a relationship. To stimulate and enrich your romantic relationship, it’s important to sustain your own identity outside of the relationship, preserve connections with good friends and family, and maintain your hobbies and interests.
You communicate openly and honestly. Effective communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.
Falling in love vs. building a relationship
For most people, falling in love usually seems to just happen. It’s building a relationship and staying in love—or preserving that “falling in love” experience—that requires commitment and work.
Given its rewards, though, it’s well worth the effort. A healthy, secure romantic relationship.
